As I was sitting at my desk this past week, I sat and looked at the sky. It had rained and stormed off and on a couple of days so it was very overcast. One day the clouds were trying to lift so the sun peeked through from time to time. Just when I could see the pretty blue color with the beauty of the sun, dark clouds would cover the scenery. I could see the jets that were just taking off from the airport and I envied them because once they reach altitude, they get to admire the shades of blue and puffy white clouds. I was left with the dark and gray overcast.
This scene reminded me of my grief journey. I have been walking this path for the past 7 years as of tomorrow. At first the journey for me was all cloudy, dark, and overcast. I didn't see any blue at all; the sun couldn't pierce through the thickness of my grief. As time passes, I've been able to see more of the beautiful blue sky. Don't get me wrong, I still have days and times that storms move in. I have had storms that ended up staying longer than what they should have; and they come more times than what should be allowed. I can say with certainty that after they hit me from all sides with gale force winds, torrential rain fall, and pain that takes my breath away; I am still standing.
Twenty five years ago on June 12th I married my best friend. We got engaged in August 1992 and decided on a June wedding that happened June 12th, 1993. I had so much fun planning my wedding with the help from my family and friends. It was a long time coming, we dated for 5 years off and on. We endured a couple of hard break ups and one of them was for a substantial amount of time. My heart was broke a couple of times while we dated. When we finally worked everything out and we were engaged, I was so happy. I felt so lucky to be marrying my best friend. We were looking forward and excited for our future together. I was truly blessed to have found Kirk. He made my heart sing.
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